Group/Activity_README

Being a part of a group is a magical experience. No matter what kind of group you’re in it’s an experience and it contains magic if you’re willing to look. And by that I definitely mean being the creepy guy at the end of the table who watches everyone else interact. It’s wholesome and fantastic! Always. It never fails. Unless you get engrossed in an interesting and captivating conversation, then you’re screwed. Or maybe then you’re actually participating. But isn’t that overrrated. I mean really, you could be watching the events unfold instead of actually being involved. Wait… that could be the anxiety talking. 

Hold on. My point makes sense. What I’m saying is that a group dynamic is intriguing. You have a varying collection of thoughts and personalities all colliding in a giant melting pot where we all contribute different aspects of our culture towards a larger gain. Right? Isn’t that what America was built on? Or maybe that’s too trumped up of a statement. My point still stands. When you have the opportunity to be present at a group event, you should do it. Worst case scenario you make a new friend or learn something new. 

As my dad always said “pour me another beer” but seriously, as my dad always said “pour me another beer”. So in the wise words of my father whom I love. 

Pour me another beer, kid. 

Also, I need to get back to my group event now. I’ve been very absent through writing his. 

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Post_Vacation_Bliss.exe

I’ve never really taken a vacation before. I mean, not one that was longer than a weekend and in a country other then the one I live in. Not one that I can recall while I sit here and type this anyways. Which is fine, because I’d rather have gone on few amazing vacations instead of many mediocre ones. Which is just my way of justifying a lack of vacationing I suppose. Its like when people say that its not how many friends you have its the quality, they’re just ashamed that they aren’t likeable enough to have more friends (I’m joking). I think I jut never thought I really deserved to take a vacation because I never really felt like I worked that hard to have earned one. I don’t feel that way now. About the vacation I just took at least.

It was time anyways, my partner and I have been together almost four years and had never had a real vacation and after the last year of endless hard work we just went through it was hard earned and well deserved. I mean she works hard, very hard. I suppose I don’t like, save lives or anything, but a friend once told me that its all perspective. For instance, I serve coffee at my day job and do freelance writing in my nights. You could argue that with the coffee I provide, I am saving lives. That isn’t to say that I’m on the frontline of salvation armed with percolated glory and a sling of holy coffee beans. Though it is to say that maybe that old yarn about “Give me my coffee before I snap” could be true for someone on a specific morning and I’m the one postponing the breakdown. Either way.

I don’t actually believe that I save lives, but I do believe that I at times have the ability to make a difference in someones day. Even if I’m just a blip on the radar, which is okay with me believe me, I think I leave a mark. Now I want to clarify that I don’t mean leave a mark like a lasting legacy and they’ll tell stories of my wisdom at the campfire to the younglings before bed. Just that maybe they’ll smile and think for a second that the day isn’t bleak and the end is a little more distant seeming than the horizon (Which isn’t me saying the end is nigh, we’ve probably got another ten years at least, or twelve).

The strange thing about vacationing to me is that you leave your home, go somewhere new to you (or familiar) and you live like you would if you weren’t restrained by work or obligations. The reason why I find that strange is that if we really wanted to I think a lot of us could live like we want a little more frequently in the place that we do call home. Not to be little the vacationing aspect of life, I do love it dearly, I just think that we may idolize a concept that can be applied more directly to everyday life. I mean think about it, maybe your idea of a good time is to climb way up into the alps or ski down a mountain in the freezing cold at break neck dangerous speeds (I’m not a skier, can you tell?). Then of course you cant just do that on a whim because your day job felt extra boring on a Tuesday. Maybe though, we can do more of the little things daily that make us smile and keep us happy instead of postponing them for that big trip you’ve been planning for two years and haven’t saved up enough for yet. Just a thought.

Regardless of what works for you, you should do it. For me, a vacation seems to have worked at least a little bit. The inner monologues have slowed down to a reasonable pace and the hordes of people I share this world with don’t seem quite as intimidating as usual. Maybe now I can get back to being productive in a creative way more frequently. I mean I do love money (money money money) but I should spend more of my time doing the things I love. So without dragging this thing out into a rally or a Ted talk. Lets all raise a glass of whatever you’re drinking as you read this and toast to love, dreams and whatever it is that makes us tick (unless its illegal, then cut it out you cheeky monkey).

Also, one last thing, never gamble. Even when you win, you wind up losing. Unless you win big, like really big, then always gamble and always win.

 

Lethargy Breeds Complacency

Hello? Hello from the other side? Hey?

Hi. I suppose its my fault that I haven’t kept you posted in over a month. I also suppose its my fault that there hasn’t been anything new in the way of vlogs or music in maybe even longer… The reality is I have to be honest with you and say that I have been incredibly lazy. I don’t know what my excuse is, maybe its the winter season and the fact that it gets harder to stay motivated during the season. Maybe I could say that I have been uninspired and had a lack of motivation to truly create anything. Perhaps I could even convince you that I have been absolutely crazy busy with work and a social life…

The truth is as I have said before, lethargy has bred complacency and it has become very easy to just not participate in this thing that I have started. I know how it seems. I worked very hard for a full year, creating music, writing a book, posting vlogs and keeping this website up to date, and then I bailed out. That is pretty much how it seems and I get that. However, that isn’t the complete reality. I have been silently working on some things in the background. I’ve been working on freelance writing with pretty steady work the last few months, which does take a bit of my time up. I have also been toying with new ideas for new music. Also, I’ve been writing some short films.

This last one may seem different and new, but any of you that know me personally may know that film is where my heart does lay, no matter how far from that I may truly stand at this moment. I want to create films, and I want to express visions. I have been working on that for the past while as well. I acknolwedge that I have been away from here for too long however, and I will do my best to keep updates rolling in. As well, I would like to share something special soon. Whether it be a new vlog, a new song, or even a new story. I want to make sure that I stay motivated. I need to shake off this laziness and be proactive again, so hopefully this is a return to form.

Lastly, to expose myself with a bit more honesty. I constantly struggle with how I may come across. Whether it be in my videos or my songs or even these posts. I worry that the messages I want to get across will be lost in translation, and I’ll come across as disingenuous. I hope that isn’t the case, but I guess that shouldn’t be a fear that guides me. I can’t help though and look at the artists that I respect most and wonder how they do things without fear and come out on top. Then I think that they must have fear, but if they do, it doesn’t come across.

I’ll try to work on that and while I do, I appreciate your understanding and patience.

Thank you.

Sometimes It Works Out.

As some of you may know. I started making music from time to time. What I had done was set out to create a 6 song EP that I was proud of. I have finished that. Now, there are a lot of changes I still want to make, and only three out of the six songs I actually love. As well I plan on completely changing one of them. I do have to say I am proud of my commitment to the work.

With that being said, I did wind up creating a song I turned out to be quite fond of. I haven’t shared it anywhere yet, and I actually made this on December 30th. I wanted to wait until the album was perfect and I could find a way to release it to you, but I really want you to hear this.

I hope you listen to it, I hope you like it, and I hope that maybe it moves you in a way that music moves me. The song is one that I like, and it completes the story I had tried to tell. The album itself isn’t perfect yet, but I like to think that this song might be pretty close.

After The HoliDaze. 

Once we’ve all had our fill of Christmas dinners, presents, and family traditions. It’s time to sober up from the holiday buzz that overcomes us all. Whether you get drunk off the gift giving and holiday cheer, or just the eggnog, it’s a great time to take some self inventory. Did you get what you wanted out of the season? 

If your answer is an all around resounding “Yes!” Then I’m proud of you and happy for you! If. It’s not, then why is that? Keep in mind I’m not a therapist or counsellor so I’m not trying to get in your head or solve your emotional problems. I’m trying to open a dialogue. Something I always used to get hung up on was personal satisfaction. 

I mean that in a specific way such as, I would only ever find it if I managed to make everyone else as happy as I could over the holidays. Then I’d second guess myself and wind up miserable. It didn’t matter if I KNEW that I did a good job of gift giving or spreading holiday cheer, it would somehow get twisted. 

There’s no real solution to this that I can offer you, so instead, this is what I’ve been doing. Try and understand what you’re capable of accomplishing, and then what you’d like to accomplish. If those don’t line up, then adjust your perspective. It isn’t possible to make every single person on your list perfectly happy. Yet it is possible to do the best you can and feel good about it. 

As we trek through the last week of this very curious epidemic we know as 2016, don’t get hung up on the holidays. Look forward to the next chapter or the next project. Even the next holiday if that’s your bread and butter. Either way, acknowledge that you did your best, and you’re loved no matter how many gifts you brought to the tree, or how many hours you had to work through this season. 

It’s sometimes hard to fathom, but we’re all doing a little better than we’re feeling. 

Happy holidays, may you have a peaceful and love filled end to the year. 

Close To Madness

Hey there!

I have just put the finishing touches on a new song that I have worked pretty hard on the past couple weeks. I hope that you enjoy it and follow me on soundcloud, or show your friends, or just keep it to yourself and vibe out to it. Let me know what you think, and as usual, thank you for spending your time on me!

 

Visit the “Tetsuo” page for more music.
Soundcloud – https://soundcloud.com/tetsuosdeath

Strange and Untrue (Audio)

Here is one of my latest songs. I already have it published on my soundlcoud and my website here under the Tetsuo page. I wanted to put it on youtube for a wider range of access as well. Here is your chance to listen to it now if you havent already!

Thank you for your time!

Soundcloud – https://soundcloud.com/tetsuosdeath