Taking Time

One of the most surprisingly difficult things to do, is know when you need to take time. Whether it be for yourself, for someone else, or for something that you’re passionate about. It is so incredibly easy to get tangled up in one thing or another and then to be startled to find that something else needs your attention to. Workaholics know this concept well. They get so caught up in the work they do that their friends or family have to pry them away to get some time with them. That or they themselves wind up crashing and realizing they haven’t taken any time for themselves. With that being said though, how do you know when you should take some time, and how much time do you need?

I myself have just recently come into some time. I previously had not that much, and now I have alotgether far too much so I have decided to dedicate it to various things I deem important. Here is that catch though, when you have that much time, it becomes so easy to push things back and put more focus on other things. Prioritizing becomes strained and somewhat difficult while procrastinating incidentally becomes a touch easier. You can argue that having so much extra time is a good thing because you have more itme to spend on one thing. Yet you can also argue that with less time, when you start a project there is more urgency to accomplish it within the time you have. Both those aspects are true. Therein lies the issue for a lot of people both my age and in my situation. Where does the time go, and how do we make the absolute most of it?

I don’t think there is necessarily a perfect formula for this. I do at the same time however feel that to a certain degree it is almost always a matter of time plus work plus effort equals results. Yet the variances in each of those individual aspects is what tends to take my focus. Time while being a linear construct is also a currency. How much you have is finite, but how you spend it is entirely up to you. How much time should I spend, working however hard, on whichever project. Then after that how much time is left over for me, or the ones that I love? Then I don’t have an answer, or pondering the solution takes too much time away from the aforementioned task so it winds up unfulfilled. Leading to an unchecked item on the days to do list.

I would be remiss to say that the problem I am addressing isn’t somewhat of a first world problem yet at the same time it is one that can become debilitating to an extent. With a massive desire to accomplish things and then concern over which things are the most important to accomplish it becomes less about taking time for yourself and more about making sure you are putting time on the right thing. Which then becomes a question of what is the right thing to put your time on. Is it education, love, making money, achieving your dreams, making friends, or is it something entirely different. Can it be all of the above while still existing within the realm of possible? Is it foolish to think one can have it all? If you can, what level of sacrifice does it require? Does that sacrifice leave you in a better or worse place than before? How can you tell?

All of these questions become trivial when faced with the larger question of what makes you happy. Which in the end is the thing you should focus on, and is the only way that I have found it possible to try and keep the time I need to spend focused on the important things. It can become overwhelming, and it will always be uncertain. Another beautiful thing about the concept of “growing up” It is almost entirely and always, uncertain. Just remember to give some of that time to your loved ones, friends and family. Then spend the rest on making yourself happy, and hope that its enough. You just might achieve your dreams along the way, the trick I think, is to not give up and stay focussed.

Also, remember that in the wake of all this worldly chaos, tell the people you care about that you love them and try and be kind to one another. The world can always use more kindness.

 

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The Ones Without Feeling

Every so often in this huge and marvellous world we are all equally apart of, we cross paths with an individual that makes us feel a certain way. A feeling of anger, pain and or sadness. A feeling that generates misery. This type of individual almost always wins. If only because we find ourselves constantly distracted by the thoughts they provoked us to generate. Maybe its thoughts of hate, thoughts of anger and even thoughts of vengeance. Either way, its all wasted time. They probably got what they wanted from you and now you’re just spinning your wheels.

It’s never an easy thing. Processing the fact that someone wronged you. No matter how small or how large, its almost always a shock to our systems. Maybe you trusted them, maybe you had no reason to suspect them. Life has a way of being unexpected. I myself was recently taken advantage of in a way where I worked hard for someone, and got majorly screwed over. I didn’t get paid, and I didn’t even get closure.

When I say closure, I literally mean that I don’t actually know if its over with. theres a very small percentage of me that thinks “Maybe he’ll get back to me and I’ll still get paid?”. I know that isn’t likely, and all of my support structures agree it isn’t either. Yet I still find a way to try and hope and no let go. I want my money. Who wouldn’t, but almost more than that I want the closure. An email saying “I screwed you over, haha” would even be acceptable. Just so I know.

Its the waiting that kills you. Yet I won’t lose hope or even further destroy my trust for the outside world. Yet I am exhausted. I worked my ass off for this prick and I have nothing to show for it. Now he’s going to take my work and put his name on it, and theres nothing I can do about it. I’m angry and I’m disappointed. Most of all though, I’m ready to move on. Thats what this is.

I’m taking steps forward.

 

 

Undying Love

I started writing short stories when I was very young. They were vastly different than what you’ll find on this site. I remember I had a series going about a character called “Knight Rider” no affiliation with the talking car. It was this guy who was basically Batman, who rode a motorcycle, like Batman sometimes does. I ended up coming up with the idea that there was a team of them, and they each had different coloured suits. Like the Power Rangers. Those stories never amounted to much and were my only real foray into anything hero related. 

I had another series that I had titled Venom. It was about a chosen one who had to fight dragons, he had a sword etc. Etc. I don’t think I have these note books anymore although I do somewhat wish I did. It would be equal parts interesting and hilarious to read these old stories from the glory days of elementary school. What I do have however, is note books from the last five years. I spent my night tonight transcribing two short stories from paper to keyboard and then have posted them on here. The first one I posted is called “Siren Song” it is a very short little tale I had come up with that is very inspired by post-apocalyptic style films. I would like to do something more with it in the future, and probably change the title. Until then, I hope you find it enjoyable! It’s cover looks like this; 


It occurred to me tonight that I have now posted 8 short stories in total and haven’t updated my page which is supposed to have info about each story. That will need to happen. The second story I put up tonight is called “Such Great Heights” If that sounds familiar to you it’s because that is a song by the band The Postal Service. I really love the song and it’s many incarnations as covers and was inspired to write a story based off of it. I hope you enjoy it, it might come off a touch bit repetitive but I really wanted it to feel organic and genuine. I also wrote it about 2 some odd years ago. I like to think in that time my style/talent has improved. If you need an example then read “Working Title” my most recently written story. 

I also had the delight today of starting another story, one that I am very passionate about and can’t wait to share with you. It won’t be a full novel but it will be longer than a short story. 

I want to also take another second to thank you for your continued support. I appreciate every like, every follow and every comment. I hope to share as much of my writing as I can with as many people as I can and I just hope that it’s something you all find interesting, relatable or even just amusing. Anything at all works for me, it’s why I bother putting it out here at all. Because if I’m being honest, whether it garners any attention at all, it’s something I’ll always do. I have an obsession with it. I’ll go without it for a while, and realize I need it. Then I’ll have it again, and it’ll drive me crazy. It’s been as of yet the longest ‘will they, won’t they’ of my life. I think I’m ready to settle down with it. 

Why fight something you love?

Also, here’s the artwork for that second story I posted.