Post.Hiatus/post.readME

Everything is eventual and everything takes time. That is something that sounds both incredibly pretentious but is incredibly true. It is also something that I very much agree with and believe in. The pretentiousness as well as the validity of the statement. I would like to say something like “Hey guys, I know you missed me!” or “I’m finally back y’all, no more wondering!”. However I know that none of you wondered or missed me. For that matter, I know for a fact that nobody even noticed. Which is actually alright with me because it is very low pressure and makes writing this much easier, seeing as it will most likely go unnoticed as well.

My last post was a while ago, but my last post that was actually noticed by anyone was THIS long ago (I apologize for the capitals, but it makes hyper-linking more fun). I would like to point out that it is my grandma that wrote the only comment on that post, and isn’t that the sweetest damn thing? It is. There you go. Despite the length of time between that post and this post, I do feel as though I lost something of myself as I stopped posting here, whether or not anyone was noticing. Nothing crazy significant like my mind or anything. Just a little bit of drive and or motivation. I mean, lets reflect for a second here.

At the time that I was running this website religiously (sorry mom), I was also writing a book, actively making music and also running a youtube channel (not WELL mind you but still doing it). Since then I have not written the sequel, I have made some music, but the youtube channel is otherwise defunct and this website is a sham I say, A sham! Not that I don’t think that despite my absence it still looks and functions nice. Because it does, and you cannot tell me any different because I will fight you. Though you must understand first that my version of fighting is sincerely different than most peoples. Mine consists of ignoring you rather intently while simultaneously checking in to make sure you aren’t still mad at me.

The point I assume that I am dancing around, is that I need structure in my life. Something that I have proven to myself time and time again though in every other facet of my life. Professional, personal and no creative. I have structure on a lot of things that I didn’t in the past and think that maybe now I can engage in the things that truly motivate me and make my heart sing (cheesy, very very cheesy). For instance I want to finish writing my follow up book (maybe actually publish the first one though hm?). I want to make more music, I want to work on my YouTube channel, I want to do it all. Most importantly I want to keep this website from disappearing (I mean I am paying for it after all).

The truth is, life did to me as it does to all, it got in the way. I found myself absorbed in things that both mattered but also didn’t need me to put all other things to the wayside and I got distracted. As well though, I got a job that I thought I wanted, got let go from that job and then had the time to work on these things. Instead however I worked on myself. Something that everyone should get the chance to do a couple times a year (not the getting let go part, just the self work). I realized I can’t drink regular coffee anymore, decaf all the way, and I also finally started putting effort into my fitness. On top of all that I’m reading again and am actually engaged in the world around me. My anxiety is essentially under control. Something I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to celebrate. It was never out of control per se but it was always cropping up and annoying me, so here here to its demise!

With all that though, I do have to say… I have missed you, all of you, whoever has dared read this far into my wandering words and trembling typeface. I really have. I say that I create for you, for me, though maybe I haven’t been faithful to that. In my defence I would like to say that I have been incredibly busy, though I know that that is only true to a certain extent and expectation of that word. So to you I make a promise. I promise to be busy, whether it be working, or living, but never be it an excuse and I wager my life on that. Because a life worth living is a life well lived, and a life well lived is worth like all of the dollars you could ever imagine or whatever man (Damn, almost had it).

Thanks for listening.. er… reading, and please stick around, because though I might not be as much of a mess as I used to; theres still messes to be made, of me and of you, for you, for me.

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Dexter James Morgan

As some of you know I make music. It isn’t professional quality or anything like that, yet I enjoy it a lot and have a great time doing it. For that specific project I am referring to, its a character called Tetsuo. Who I created to tell a story and to use as a moniker to hide and keep it secret. Clearly I haven’t been doing the whole secret thing as of late. Regardless though, the reason for this post is that I have decided to start something new.

That isn’t to say that I am by any means done with the character of Tetsuo. It’s just to say that I also have more stories to tell of my own that might need new names for them to really take flight. Worry not any of you secret closet Tetsuo fans, he will return again (Maybe once I am a better singer). Until then however, I would like to introduce my latest project…

Dexter James Morgan.

The first track is called Slice of Life. If you enjoy instrumental electronic music then this is for you. There is obviously the possibility that some of these tracks will make their way into different incarnations as I work, but for now, enjoy the sweet sweet sounds.

 

p.s. Yes I am a huge fan of the Dexter book series and Television show.

Lethargy Breeds Complacency

Hello? Hello from the other side? Hey?

Hi. I suppose its my fault that I haven’t kept you posted in over a month. I also suppose its my fault that there hasn’t been anything new in the way of vlogs or music in maybe even longer… The reality is I have to be honest with you and say that I have been incredibly lazy. I don’t know what my excuse is, maybe its the winter season and the fact that it gets harder to stay motivated during the season. Maybe I could say that I have been uninspired and had a lack of motivation to truly create anything. Perhaps I could even convince you that I have been absolutely crazy busy with work and a social life…

The truth is as I have said before, lethargy has bred complacency and it has become very easy to just not participate in this thing that I have started. I know how it seems. I worked very hard for a full year, creating music, writing a book, posting vlogs and keeping this website up to date, and then I bailed out. That is pretty much how it seems and I get that. However, that isn’t the complete reality. I have been silently working on some things in the background. I’ve been working on freelance writing with pretty steady work the last few months, which does take a bit of my time up. I have also been toying with new ideas for new music. Also, I’ve been writing some short films.

This last one may seem different and new, but any of you that know me personally may know that film is where my heart does lay, no matter how far from that I may truly stand at this moment. I want to create films, and I want to express visions. I have been working on that for the past while as well. I acknolwedge that I have been away from here for too long however, and I will do my best to keep updates rolling in. As well, I would like to share something special soon. Whether it be a new vlog, a new song, or even a new story. I want to make sure that I stay motivated. I need to shake off this laziness and be proactive again, so hopefully this is a return to form.

Lastly, to expose myself with a bit more honesty. I constantly struggle with how I may come across. Whether it be in my videos or my songs or even these posts. I worry that the messages I want to get across will be lost in translation, and I’ll come across as disingenuous. I hope that isn’t the case, but I guess that shouldn’t be a fear that guides me. I can’t help though and look at the artists that I respect most and wonder how they do things without fear and come out on top. Then I think that they must have fear, but if they do, it doesn’t come across.

I’ll try to work on that and while I do, I appreciate your understanding and patience.

Thank you.

Sometimes It Works Out.

As some of you may know. I started making music from time to time. What I had done was set out to create a 6 song EP that I was proud of. I have finished that. Now, there are a lot of changes I still want to make, and only three out of the six songs I actually love. As well I plan on completely changing one of them. I do have to say I am proud of my commitment to the work.

With that being said, I did wind up creating a song I turned out to be quite fond of. I haven’t shared it anywhere yet, and I actually made this on December 30th. I wanted to wait until the album was perfect and I could find a way to release it to you, but I really want you to hear this.

I hope you listen to it, I hope you like it, and I hope that maybe it moves you in a way that music moves me. The song is one that I like, and it completes the story I had tried to tell. The album itself isn’t perfect yet, but I like to think that this song might be pretty close.

Close To Madness

Hey there!

I have just put the finishing touches on a new song that I have worked pretty hard on the past couple weeks. I hope that you enjoy it and follow me on soundcloud, or show your friends, or just keep it to yourself and vibe out to it. Let me know what you think, and as usual, thank you for spending your time on me!

 

Visit the “Tetsuo” page for more music.
Soundcloud – https://soundcloud.com/tetsuosdeath

Strange and Untrue (Audio)

Here is one of my latest songs. I already have it published on my soundlcoud and my website here under the Tetsuo page. I wanted to put it on youtube for a wider range of access as well. Here is your chance to listen to it now if you havent already!

Thank you for your time!

Soundcloud – https://soundcloud.com/tetsuosdeath